I Don’t Know What I’d Do with Myself

Cassie tried to convince Harvey and Carol to try living in the Mexican tropics instead of Kansas for a while and this is what happened.

Photo by Artur Tumasjan

At a recent class reunion in Kansas, when a group of old friends gathered, chatting about our lives since we’d last met, our families, new interests, hobbies, and jobs — or lack of because of retirement — the usual ‘catch-ups’, I mentioned that we live in Mexico during the winter months. Most were interested in that concept and asked lots of questions about where we stay and what we do while there for such a long period of time. Some even seemed interested in possibly doing the same thing. Yet there were a couple of friends who looked at me as if I had just sprouted a tail, from the flummoxed looks on their faces.

“You are there for the whole winter?” my old school friend, Carol, with whom I had lost touch, asked in a tone that sounded more like a scoff.

I nodded.

One of the classmates — Harvey, whom I hadn’t known very well because he’d always seemed a bit antagonistic — looked at me with eyelids at half-mast. I saw skepticism. He said, “The whole winter, you say?” and then asked, “What in tarnation do you do there a whole winter?”

“Do? We enjoy the warmth, the sea, our friends,” I responded, not understanding the tones of voices from either Carol or Harvey. What was so perplexing to them about being away from winter here? I’d wondered.

No one said anything for a few seconds, and then Carol shook her head and spouted, “Well, I just don’t know what I’d do with myself all that time.”

“Me neither,” Harvey agreed, adding, “You must have a real good time doing nothin’, I’d say, ’cause I just don’t see being gone away from home for several months for no viable reason, except to sit on a beach, as makin’ good sense to me a’tall.”

I looked at them both, one and then the other.

“Really?” I queried. You don’t see the sense in leaving the God-awful cold months here so that you can get away from shoveling snow as being a good reason to leave?”

Neither responded because I knew that deep down, I had struck a chord.

“And as for not having nothing to do, geez, the sky is the limit there. Whatever hobbies you have here at home you could do there. I paint paintings of the ocean and the jungle, or I make jewelry in my loft when it’s raining out, for example. And look at all the exercise you can get by being able to take walks in the warm sunshine during the winter months down there, not to mention utilizing the activities that being near an ocean can offer.”

“Like what?” The man asked. “I don’t like to swim.”

Photo by Uta Scholl 

“Well, there’s fishing, boating, paddle boarding, snorkeling, or scuba diving. You don’t really do much swimming. Your fins help you with that. And I often use a floating device, like a styrofoam noodle or something else that floats to help me enjoy the warmth of the sea without needing to work too hard. We live near a bay with a reef in front of it so that the water is smoother than the water on the other side of the reef. It’s really quite ideal,” I bragged. “Besides, there is a lot to see around the area where we are, if you get an urge to go someplace.”

I looked at them expectantly, hoping they’d get excited enough to inquire about what there was to see. But nope. I just got a stare.

I continued, “One of my favorite things to do is go for a drive and visit one of the hundred different Mayan ruins around the Yucatan Peninsula. They are all different and truly amazing in their layout and architecture, and to think they are hundreds of years old.”

I thought I saw a spark of interest in Harvey’s eyes, but he said nothing.

I added, “We also like to go see the flamingos near the gulf coast. That’s a fun experience. They get their pink coloring from eating the tiny shrimp in the ponds, you know.”

Carol may have widened her eyes a little but didn’t say anything, so I went on. There are lots of developed tourist destinations close by if you’re into that sort of thing. Or we like to find new fun places to eat. There are some fabulous restaurants to choose from and not all Mexican fare.”

Nada responses.

Why am I trying so hard to sell the idea, if these two don’t like to leave home? I asked myself, ready to give up. But I gave it one more try. “There are movie theaters in town, and we have good enough wi-fi to stream videos. Also, you can get a TV antenna and watch TV, if that’s your thing. Anything you do here you can do there, is my point, except shovel snow. And it’s just a nicer climate to do it in.”

That was my schpeel, I didn’t want to twist arms, but to have someone tell me they ‘wouldn’t know what they would do with themselves’ while living in the tropics, I just couldn’t resist giving them a list. That’s me.

“Well, I’ll be danged,” Harvey said, surprising me. “It does sound appealing.”

“Well, not to me!” Carol stated. “I don’t like the water, and I’m not much for exercising”

Duh, to that, I thought as I looked at her overweight figure as she continued, ”I still say that I don’t know what I would do with myself being so far away from home and family.”

Photo by Karl Callwood

“I bet your family would find lots to do if they came to visit you down there,” I suggested. “And you likely are a good cook, so you could continue doing that not only for you and your husband but for your family when they’d visit. Also, you could cook for the get-togethers we have. People who have especially good cooking skills are always a hit. Just sayin’ that you may surprise yourself at what you’d find to do away from the cold winter weather when not having to shovel snow or worry about pipes freezing. You may also get caught up in the routine of walking the trail that many use to get some exercise to help stay young.”

I could see her mind working.

“Those are good points, I have to admit, but none of the things you’ve mentioned would take up a whole day, so what would I do the rest of the time?”

I had an urge to take her by the shoulders and shake her. She just wasn’t getting it. Was she one of those people, like my sister-in-law, who has to have every minute of her day planned, and thinks she has to have everyone else’s planned also? Or was she just lazy with really bad habits? I couldn’t decide. But then, I realized, I didn’t have to. It was her life to do with as she pleased. It wasn’t up to me to instill my thoughts and beliefs or habits onto her or anyone else, even though I wanted to. But, being an old friend, I thought that she could at least use a change of scenery if for no other reason than to open her mind up a bit and see what another lifestyle could do for her. If I could get her away from the small town she had harbored herself into for most of her life and help her find new outlooks and experiences, then, if she hated it, and, like a rubber band, popped back to her habitual life, so be it, at least I will have given it a good try, I said to myself. And so, I invited her and her husband to come down for a visit just to see what our life was like at our winter home.

When she used the excuse of not having passports, I assured her that all she needed to do was go online and fill out a form, pay by credit card and the passports would come. Then her world would open up.

The rest of the group, hearing the exchange, were nodding their heads in encouragement, except for Harvey, who still looked stymied.

“Heck, Harv, you can come down, too. In fact, you all are invited to come to see what our tropical life is like in Mexico when the snow is flying here at home. What do you say?”

“Well, by golly,” Harvey responded, with actual enthusiasm, “I’ll just have to talk to my wife, and, if she is willing, start the passport process and do just that. Thank you, Cassie! You always were one of the smart ones in the class.”

As the rest of the group began chattering about the possibility of going to Mexico and having a place to stay, I thought to myself, Dear God, what did I get ourselves into?

But as I watched the faces of excitement, I thought, what fun it would be to see these old friends embrace the fact that there is a different world out there, which might help with their farm or small-town ways of thinking and broaden their horizons. To help them see that their dilemma of ‘not knowing what to do with themselves’ in another kind of setting could be reversed simply by turning on their creative minds and trying something new, well, I was very excited for these single-minded friends and their possible newfound outlook on life.

Photo by Chelsea Gates

Click to read Part 2 of this story Carol and Harvey’s Adventures — Enlightened Or Unenlightened. Find out what happens when the first of the Kansans decide to take Cassie up on her offer!