The Dastardly Flu Bug and How I Began to Kill It

Photo by Volodymyr Hryshchenko

Seven days ago, I woke up in the night with some powerful shivers

I felt I was riding an iceberg down many long rivers.

I was so cold my teeth chattered uncontrollably

And my body was shaking so bad I could hardly see.

What the hell, I thought, as the rapids grew worse

On my journey on that iceberg’s obstacle course.

Why am I so cold and unable to calm?

With shivers, one can’t just wipe on a balm.

So, I snuggled up next to my husband’s warm bod

And persuaded him to comfort me, which was not odd.

As he’s very good about soothing me and keeping me warm

And making me feel safe from all kinds of harm,

Except from this nasty flu bug that caught hold of me.

I rarely get sick; had the shots; how can this be?

It must be a new strain brought in by some tourists,

We live in a tropical local where germs can’t resist

I’m on day seven of being severely ill,

I’ve taken all the potions and each powerful pill

That I thought would help this horrible cough,

But none of them subsided it, only making it rough

Trying to sleep, hurting when coughing mode appears

I wonder: Have my payments to the Health Gods been in arrears?

I truly don’t know why I was chosen to carry 

This nasty virus as if we were to marry.

Photo by Elena Mozhvilo

All I do is sleep and cough, blow my nose, moan and groan.

This is a holiday season when friends gather and hone

Their skills of merriment, laughter and cheers

To drink eggnog, hot toddies, wine and some beers

But not for me, I’m in a vegetative state

Unable to mingle, or even stand at the gate

To watch all the fun or offer a toast

I can’t even chime in to come up with a boast.

What would I say, if I were to toot my own horn?

Look at me, all pasty looking and so forlorn!

I think a little sympathy would be a good pay, 

But people prefer to have things their own way

Of having fun and not feeling sorry

  for someone like me for whom they would worry.

So, it is best to just sit by myself and feel

My own regrets and wishes for Let’s Make-A-Deal

For finally getting over this debilitating crud

And finally getting my life back the way that it should.

Would it help to sell my soul for much better health?

Or dig in the coffers to show off some wealth?

Photo by Kelly Sikkema

But I don’t think I will do either, I’ll just try harder to improve

‘Cause this being sick sucks; I wanna get in the groove

Go on a campaign for wellness, good health I will pursue  

To make myself better; that’s what I will do.

So, off to the doctor I will go, to help me get better faster.

I’m glad I made that decision, to be in the hands of a master.

I left his office with a shot in the butt and bag of various meds

And have to take everything for five days until I’m clear in the head.

The doctor was a wise old Mexican, who could speak English fairly well.

He seemed to be a gentle soul, caring and giving care for a spell.

I had thanked him for his kindness, his knowledge, and for helping me.

He nodded in acceptance and said that a caretaker he’d always be. 

The moral of this story might not be very clear

But if you think that it’s wise not to wait, you would be very near

To the answer behind this tale with so many bugs going ‘round

Do not hesitate to seek out help wherever it may be found.

For precious time is wasted when you’re feeling so very bad,

You are missing out on holiday parties out there to be had.

Why waste time sleeping and missing out on all the fun

When you could be well much sooner by seeing a doctor and it’d be done?

You’d feel so much happier, and would be healthier, too

By trying not to self-medicate and living on chicken stew.

That is the moral of my story for you to remember the next time you are ill…

After three days, it’s time to see a doctor, instead of thinking, “I’ll just take a pill.”

Photo by Alexandr Podvalny

Read the sequel to this poem by clicking here: From a Flu Bug to Infection — What an Ugly Misdirection